Hunger Hurts but Starving Works
by JaredsGirl23
Summary: When hurtful words about Bellas appearance are made she takes them seriously. Now, she will do anything to lose the weight but what happens when she takes things to far for her own good?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

_**AN **Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse and Characters all belong to Stephenie Meyer. Yay Stephenie!  
Okay people, new story! Hope you like it )_

_**Realization**_

It was sunny so of course, the Cullens decided to tak advantage of the weather and go hunting. _'I'll be back tonight. I love you.' _I missed him already. I giggled but quickly collected myself as my algebra teacher turned around to see who was making noises. Few people turned to me but no one spoke up and she returned to the board.

Long, agonizing minutes passed until the sound of a distant bell finally rang. I reluctantly let out a breathe of relif and started packing my things up in the bag Alice had bought for me a little over a month ago. As I turned to walk towards the door and to lunch, I was inturupted.

"Bella! Wait up.", Jessica said. That was strange, we haven't talked in what seemed like ages. Must be important then.

"Hey Jess, whats up?" I questioned, truely honest to why she suddenly became intrested in me once again.

"Is it true your pregnant?", she asked as if she was asking me how my day was. I stopped dead in my tracks. _Pregnant?! _How in world would I be pregnant. Me and Edward haven't even done anything yet. Even if we did, vampires can't have babies. Rosalie made sure I knew that.

"What are you talking about? Of course not, why would you even ask?", I questioned, rushing trew my words. Stupid highschool, stupid Jessica, stupid rumors.

"Well, and don't take this the wrong way, its just ... you've gained quite a bit of weight latley. Seriously, I thought you must have been at least three or four months. Your thighs look a little bulkier too. You sure you're not?", asked Jessica. What was she talking about? I hadn't seen anything different. Then again, I haven't really had the time to really pay attention.

"I'm sure. Edward and I havn't done anything yet.", I stated and Jessicas face turned to a tint of pink.

"Oh, well sorry, I have to go.", She said and walked towards the cafeteria. I went in the other direction, making my way towards the washroom. Luckily, no one was inside. I took a good look into the mirror and saw something I've never seen before. My thighs did look _huge! _And how could I not notice my stomach? I looked eight months pregnant! My arms too, oh god. How could I lose control like that?

I ran out of the bathroom and towards the parking lot. I jumped into my truck. I had to get home, I had a scale. Who cared if I missed class, I'd probably break a chair anyways. I drove as fast as my truck could, almost as fast as Edward would have. Gosh, once he relises how much weight I've put on, he'll dump me for sure.

Once in the house I sprinted for the scale and stepped on it. _128. _I weigh 128 pounds! How could this have happend? Just a few weeks ago I'd been no more then 110. I had to loose the weight. I'd stop eatting. And I'll exercise. No, Edward will notice if I stop eatting and the thought of making myself throw up was revolting. I'd just have to eat less and work out more. This could work. Charlie had a treadmill which he never touched in the living room.

I put sweats on and ran. I ran and ran and ran. Forty five minutes passed and my legs were so tired I had to take a rest. I layed on the floor next to me, intending to do about fifty sit ups. Fifty turned to one hundred and quickly after then one hundred turned into one fifty.

My stomach growled as I stood up. I went into the kitchen but stopped myself. _No. _I still had to make Charlie dinner though, so I went in regardless. I made rice with chicken. Simple, and low in fat. I made sure I only made about one serving and a quatre so that I'd have an excuse to give Charlie later on.

As the food was cooking, I ran up to the shower to wash up my hardly earned sweat. As the water rushed down from the head, I thought more about how much weight I really put on. My face looked chubbier and come to think of it, my bras were getting a little tighter. I just had to stop thinking about food. No more then nine hundred calories a day. I could do that.

I came out of the shower and dressed in pajamas. Even though it was barely five, I was still exahusted. Plus, Edward said he'd be here at seven.

As I got down the stairs, I saw Charlie was home already. "Hey dad."

"Oh, hey Bells. How was your day?", Charlie asked.

"Good.", I lied. I hated lying but sometimes you needed to. "Dinners ready." Charlie moved from the living room and into the dinning room. I served him his meal and put what was left in my plate, which wasn't very much.

"Thats all your eating?" Charlie questioned.

"I must have counted wrong and made less.", I said. Charlie seemed a little unconvinced but didn't press. When I finished eatting and doing the dishes I glanced at the clock. _7:13. _Edward was here.

"Charlie, I'm kind of tired. Would you mind if I went to bed?", I asked.

"Uhm, no. I was just going to catch some of the game anyways.", He said and I nodded and made my way up to be welcomed with a pasionate kiss only breaking when I became short of breathe.

"Whats the emergency?", I questioned, laughing at my angel.

"No emergency, I just missed you. How was your day?", he asked.

"Good.", I lied once again. He seemed to beleive me as he continued on with his questions. Time passed quickly and before long I was falling asleep in the arms of an angel.

"I love you", He said, but it was too late. I was already dreaming.

**_AN_** _I think you all should know I don't think 128 pounds is fat. I'm 130 myself. Bella is just seeing what Jessica told her to see. Its all in her mind. And Jessicas a so she didn't really think of that, she just really hates Bella. _


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN **Okay, thank you soo much for all the reviews! I love them and would love if you keep them coming! Sorry this is so late though , I just got in :)_

**Chapter Two**

_**Dreams**_

_I stepped on the scale. 214. I looked in the mirror but it wouldn't even fit my whole body. I ran out, searching for Edward. Replacing him on the rocking chair was a note. I picked it up and sat down. _

_Sorry Bella, I don't date fatties. -Edward_

_Just at the moment, the chair beneath me crashed under my weight. I felt and heard myself fall on the floor. _

_"Bella, Bella wake up. _Bella, its only a dream."

I opened my eyes to see Edward looking down on me worried. "Whats wrong love? Nightmare?", he asked. I nodded and walked to the bathroom. _127. _I let out a sigh of relif, at least I wasn't that fat. I heard knocking on the door. "Bella, are you sure your okay?"

I walked out. "Better then ever." I said and smiled. He smiled too. I was getting pretty good at this. I walked into my bedroom to get dressed and Edward said he'd be waitting for me in the kitchen. _Ew. _I hate kitchens.

I tried on one of the many new tops Alice had forced me to buy last time we went to Seattle. Wrong choice, my fat was threatening to bulge out of the pink sequined top. I changed into yet another newly purchased top, a dark blue shirt with random swirls. This one was even worse.

After going through almost all of the clothes in my closet, I just threw a hoddie over the last shirt I was wearing. At least it wasn't tight fitting. I put on a pair of jeans but my love handles were just about ready to explode.

I jumped out of them immeditly and threw on a pair of loose sweats. I made my way down the stairs to be greeted by Edward and pancakes. My stomach growled. _Yuck. _"Bella, are you okay?", Edward asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just wish I was hungry so I could enjoy this meal.", I said and tossed a fake smile his way.

"Really? I thought I just heard it growl though. Doesn't it usually do that when you feel hungry?", Edward asked. Shoot, should have thought of that.

"Uhm.. normally yes but you see its my time of the month and my cramps are _really _hurting so I guess my stomach made a reaction to that." I said. He didn't seem convinced.

"Well Bella, being a vampire, it's kind of obvious when you are ... well on your time of the month but I don't really ... smell it." Edward said in a very low voice. I could feel my face heating up and I knew if Edward was human, he'd be completely red. Crap, think Bella. I need an excuse.

"Did I say it _is _my time of the month? I ment it was _going _to be my time of the month, this is just the stuff leading up to it. Anyways, if I eat, we're going to be late for school." I stated. He seemed very unconvinced but followed me out into his Volvo.

The car ride to school was silent. Edward seemed to be deep within thought. _Crap. _He knew, once he finds out, he relize how big I was becoming and will leave me for sure. I can't let him know. It would ruin _everything. _

When we pulled into the parking lot, I quickly exited and walked to class before Edward could say anything else. When I walked in, the teacher luckily was right behind me.

The rest of my classes passed by slowly until lunch came around. Oh great, here we go again. I sat next to Alice at our usual spot. "Hey Bella, wheres your lunch?", She asked. _Huh_, I guess Edward wasn't the only one I had to worry about. If Alice found out, she'd never want to stay my friend.

"I uhm ... forgot my lunch money at home. Oh well, I'm not even hungry anyways." I said, trying to keep my voice sounding honest.

"Nonsence, I always carry around money.", Alice said and handed me a twenty from her pocket.

"Uhm.. thanks but no thanks. You know how I feel about you giving me money and Edward made me a really big breakfast this morning." I said. She sighed and stuffed the money back in her pocket.

Plus, it wasn't like I lied really. Edward did make me a big breakfast this morning, I just didn't eat it. Luckily, he wasn't here yet, letting me use that excuse.

When he finally did arrive he looked at me questionably but as a relif, he didn't say anything. After lunch, I carried on threw the rest of the day as normal, but working extra hard in gym, trying to get in a few calories to lose.

"Do you want me to come over now?", Edward asked as he was driving me home. I really needed to work out and if he came by, he'd probably make me eat.

"I acctually have uhm ... a lot of stuff to do around the house but if you want, you can comeover tonight.", I said. He gave me the same questional look as he did at lunch but didn't press and dropped me off at my house when we got there.

I got home and worked out for about an hour or two and cooked Charlie dinner. While it was in the oven, I cleaned whatever needed to be done. The following week continued roughly the same, me eatting as little dinner as I could, some days even eatting nothing at all, the only thing in my stomach being a scarce amount of water.

As day eight hit I weighed 124. Still not good enough.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

_**AN **You hate me. I don't blame you at all. I would hate me too! I'm so sorry, and whats even worse is there isn't really an excuse for not writting more but I can say, you will never have to wait this long ever again. I will try to have a new chapter up soon, maybe even today to make up for the long wait I made you go threw. Again, I'm so sorry and I hope you enjoy this chapter. _

_Lunch_

The ride to school with Edward was quiet. He seemed to be deep in thought. I didn't know exactly why. Oh crap, maybe he found out. That wouldn't be good.

He can't know how fat I am. Unless he already knows and he's thinking of where to go after he leaves me. My breath started to get heavier as I thought of places he might go after he leaves me again.

"Bella, are you okay? Your heart is racing." Edward asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said. He didn't look convinced but there wasn't time to talk right now. We just pulled into the parking lot.

I got out of the car and quickly walked to my first class without saying anything to Edward. My day went on like it usually did. That was until lunch.

I sat down on Alice, Edward and my end of the table. Only Alice came though.

"Where's Edward?" I asked.

"I'm not sure. He just said he needed to be somewhere. Where's your lunch?" She asked. She did this everyday and I was near running out of excuses. I opened my mouth to talk but she interrupted me.

"Don't say anything, I'll get it for you." She said and was up before I could even think of a reason for her not to get me food.

When she came back my eyes almost shot straight out of my head. There was cake, pudding, Coke and two slices of pizza.

There wasn't anything I could do to get her to stop and on top of I all, this was all of my favorite foods, so I ate. I ate it all. Down to the last crumb. It felt so good to have my stomach full again.

Wait, I just ate _all _of that. That's way over my 900 calories a day. It's probably triple! I need to work it off. No, it's too much. I don't think it's humanly possible to work 2700 calories in two hours.

There was another option. One I never wanted to do. "Alice, I need to use the washroom. Excuse me for a second." Alice nodded and watched me walk off to the girls' room. I entered a stall and did what I've seen actors do on TV.

I put one finger down my throat. I gagged but nothing came out. I did it again, but deeper this time and it worked. I could feel the vomit raising in my throat and going out. Everything was gone.

I smiled. That wasn't _too _bad. Plus, its not like I do this everyday.

I left the bathroom and sat next to Alice again. She looked at me; I never got a look like that before. It was hurt, anger and _failure_? No, I couldn't be right. She was a fine a moment ago.

"Bella, would you mind coming over to my house after school? I have something I want us to do and Edward has brought your truck over to the parking lot."

I guess I didn't need to work out that hard tonight because of what I just did. Plus, there was an edge in her voice that showed authority. I don't think she would let me say no. "Sure. I guess I could. What time?"

"Right after." Alice said. The bell ending lunch rang at that moment so I nodded before quickly running towards the direction of my locker to get my materials for my next class.

What could be so important she couldn't tell me at school? Then it hit me. How the hell could I be so stupid? She knew, she knew. Oh god, she knew!

I should have realized this earlier. She knew I was fat. That's why Edward wasn't here. He left first, and now Alice had to do his dirty work. No wonder why she didn't tell me here. She didn't want to make a scene.

No, I couldn't go. I couldn't, never. But then she would still leave. Maybe I should go. Its not like me not showing up would stop her.

The only thoughts that went threw my head was to stay calm. I had a huge headache and before I knew it, I was in my truck driving to the Cullen's house. It was time.

I pulled into the driveway of the house I once wanted to call my own. I guess I'll never get the chance to do that. I took a deep breath and made my way up the doorsteps.

I was building up the strength to knock on the door but it opened by itself, Alice in the doorway.

"Hey, you made it." Alice said and smiled. It was fake; I could see right threw it. I smiled back and knew Alice felt the same way about my smile.

"I made it. So what was so important?" Here goes nothing. Wait, what was I talking about? Here goes _everything. _My everything.

"Would you mind following me to Carlisle's office?" She asked. I nodded and followed her though I didn't need her help to find it. I remembered it from the first day I saw. _When I was skinny. _

We were there. I was completely taken back to see not only Carlisle but everyone. And when I say everybody, I mean even Rosalie and Emmett were there but more importantly, the man I would have missed the most. Edward.

"Bella, we need to talk. We know your secret." Carlisle said. A tear rolled down my face. Thanks to my body, I'd never hear that voice again.

_So did you like it? Tell me and review:)_


	4. Chapter 4

**AN **Sorry ! SOOOOOO SORRY ! I have like seven drafts of this, I coudln;t get it right! But this is ... decent. So I hope you like it. I will **try **(key word : try ) to have a new chapter up soon.

**Chapter Four**

Okay Bella, keep it cool. It might spare some time before they leave.

"Secret? What are you talking about? I tell Edward everything." Wow, I was kind of getting good at this lying thing. I guess they're right, practice makes perfect. No, focus Bella. Edwards leaving you. Oh god, he's leaving again. He won't come back. Never. I failed. I shouldn't have had that apple yesterday.

"Bella, it's okay. You can tell us the truth. It's not like we don't know already. Don't you think it's kind of hard to lie to a vampire?" Carlisle said. I looked over to Esme. Her face was broken. Poor Esme, she probably was the one who hated leaving the most, but she to probably knew it was for the best. I mean, wouldn't people get suspicious if they saw this beautiful family walking with someone as big as me.

Tears were falling freely now. My body betrayed me once again. The charade was up. "Just don't leave. Please, please don't leave me." I whispered. They all heard me off course.

"Bella, what are you talking about Bella? We just want to help you." Carlisle said, the doctor within him rising.

"You say that now, but what about when it doesn't work. When I just get fatter. Just please, get it over with. Go." This time, I wasn't whispering. In fact, it was the exact opposite.

"Bella" Carlisle began to say while taking a step towards me. I took a step farther away but I had to hold onto the wall for support. When did the room start spinning?

"No, no, no. Leave. All of you. Get out!" I said and then remembered this wasn't _my _house. "Wait, no. What am I thinking. This is your house. I should go. Remember, I loved you all. I still do, even if the feeling isn't mutual."

I took a step away.

Then another.

Then another.

The room was spinning even more now if possible. I was losing my balance. I turned towards the wall for support but it was too far. Just as my legs let go underneath me, I braced myself to hit the floor. And as my vision started to fade, I hit a pair of arms instead.

**Emmett POV**

"No, no, no. Leave. All of you. Get out!" Bella screamed. What was going threw her head right now? Did she _really _think we were going to leave her? Why would we when all we want to do is help? I hate seeing her like this. She usually looks fragile but now, she looks even worse. She's paler than usual, and she just looks dead. "Wait, no. What am I thinking. This is your house. I should go. Remember, I loved you all. I still do, even if the feeling isn't mutual." What did she mean? Feeling not being mutual?

She turned around and took a few steps forward when I saw her start to fall. I ran, reacting quicker than anyone else. Or maybe it was that I was closer to her. Regardless, I caught her before she could hit the floor.

"Bella? Bella, can you hear me?" I asked and waited for a response.

Nothing.

"Carlisle, she's not waking up. What's wrong with her?" Edwards panicked voice asked from beside me. I was going to pass her over to him but Carlisle interrupted me.

"Pass her over." Carlisle said, while going into doctor mode. He looked her over.

One second passed.

We should have known earlier.

Two seconds passed.

How could everyone be so blind?

Three seconds passed.

She might die.



Edward growled. "Don't think like that Emmett. She won't! She couldn't, give her a few days. She's going to be fine."

"Hopefully." I said. Nobody else spoke as Carlisle left the room with Bella.

One minute.

What's he doing?

Two minutes.

Come on, how long is this going to take?

Three minutes.

Poor Bella, why would she do this? It's so... stupid.

Four minutes.

She's acting like such an average human.

"Emmett, she is an average human." Edward said, breaking the silence. Yet, his words didn't lessen the tension, if anything, it made it worse.

"Oh come on Edward, look around. She's surrounded by vampires. When we weren't here, she was surrounded by werewolves. She's not average, Edward. Bella's special. And she's smart which is why this is so hard to believe." I said, never raising my voice to a level of yelling.

Silence.

Again.

Finally. Carlisle returned. Bella was not with him though.

"She should be fine. She's just dehydrated. I've given her water. It's not too serious. I'll just watch her and when she wakes up, we'll rehydrate her. She's going threw a lot Edward. Don't be too hard on her. Don't forget, she is still human." Carlisle said and returned to the room that held Bella.

What if she still doesn't smarten up though?

"Emmett, stop being so negative. She's going to eat. She's going to be fine." Edward said. I didn't argue. There was no point.

All I could do was hope that Bella realised she was beautiful but wow, did she ever screw up.

"Shut up Emmett."

**BTW ; Emmett doesn't love Bella that way. Just like a sister. Also, hes my favourite so I had to use him. I hope its not out of character.**


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